The Beauty of Defeat

There's always a prize in my eyes. Cliche? Maybe. Ridiculous? No.
Life know's exactly how to deal you a bad hand- every time. The positive to this is that you get to discover.
I hate the feeling of defeat. I hate feeling like I have lost, and that hope is lost. I hate knowing that I worked so hard to be let down. The worst part of it all, is that it happens in a second. You could work your entire life up to that one moment of realization, information, or declination. Everything you aspired for is gone.
But I have suddenly, with my premature, naive eyes, seen it differently. As much as I hate defeat, I love a challenge. In retaliation to the bad news I recently have heard, I am challenging myself to create a new approach. I have spent months making plans, and with the one decision i'm left to make, staring me in the face, I am forced to put all my plans on the line. After spending too many minutes jotting down cons, ransacking my brain, and developing aspirations, I came to a more feasible plan. I'm going to take this decision I have to make, and make it. I'm not going to ask myself what the right or wrong decision is. Instead, i'm going to make my decision, and regardless of the result, assume it to be the right decision. My happiness results not in one life decision, but instead the way I react to it. After all, who is to tell me which decision is right? I make choices for myself, not others. I have to trust myself, and ultimately see the positive in my circumstance. If I focus on the light, darkness will fall behind me. I'm going to give life the benefit of the doubt, and convince myself that in the very same time life could take me down, it could bring me up- and possibly higher than I ever thought I'd go.

Wish I May

But I knew from the first time I saw you,
I only hope you knew it too
I knew it when I saw your eyes,
My knowledge grew to a greater size
I knew it when I stepped away,
Wish I might, wish I may
To see you again in another day
Wish I might and so I pray

And though I'm scared, i'll think and dream
My thoughts of you have made a theme
I make of mine, an aspiration
A hope, a need, a desperation
More or less, infatuation

But as a lay my head tonight
Wish I may, Wish I might
A noble pursuit of you I knew
That you might just pursue me too.