Note to Self

Dear Bekah,

Sometimes I wanna slap you. Sometimes I wanna punch you so hard in the gut, your stupidity is forced to come spitting up. Sometimes I wanna yank you by the collar, shove you against the wall, and bash your head into the bricks. You continue to do it, I just don't understand. They promise they'll be loyal, they promise they'll treat you right. They say "I know what you've been through, you don't deserve it." But the way they treat you is obviously how you deserve. Can't you understand they'll always let you down? Can't you understand that this is your life until you move out of this town? They're too egotistical for your taste. You've never been one to love vanity, but yet, you love them. Can  you stop loving people for a second? Can you stop thinking so much lesser of yourself? It will always go unappreciated, and they will always assume the worst in you. The funniest thing is, you keep writing these things to yourself. Almost as if you will realize what they are doing and you'll remove yourself from this life. But you won't. You will keep living in the same way, and you will always let them treat you like this. Until you meet someone who gives you a ring and dedicates their life to you; you will never know what faithful is. You just keep hoping that these dumb humans will realize, but they won't. They just don't get how hard you're trying.  Maybe one day when you're gone; they'll realize how great you are. Maybe when you tell them, they'll understand. But for now; it will always be your fault. Just give it up.

Bekah