Home Sweet Home

It’s strange how alone I feel in a house so full

I walk as though I am being watched

Each step I take is anxious,

Anxious for escape,

Anxious for fulfillment,
Anxious for renewing

I watch their laughter dance on the wall,

How strange it is that they laugh at all

At night I lay in a bed so large

But I like the way it makes me feel small

The sheets of cold wrap me so tightly

Giving me dreams of hope for somewhere warmer

Each night I hope to go somewhere foreign

Praying for God to fly me there

It’s the only time I pray

I need an escape, a quick way out

But I remain trapped behind the bars of my youth

My soul is aged but my body is juvenile

Restricted by the conduct that is morality

A morality formed by a naïve people

Saying that what I want is not normal

Who are you to define such a thing?

Your logic is extraneous, your rudiments unstable

Do not act as if you are able

For you are small, just like the rest

Normal is too big for your smallness to comprehend

Thinking that your life is better because you live by a verse

Thinking that you are more noble because you pray to a man

Sitting on a throne and laughing at your smallness

So do not mock me when I say I must go

My eagerness derives from a need

One that is surfaced only in this empty house

But another night here might numb me further

And I need the pain to show me its real