Sappy Mess of Emotions

You

You’re a breath of fresh air,

You’re the midnight snack to tame my growling stomach

You’re the one person I never thought I’d find

The one ruby in this pile of coal

I’ve searched too many years for someone like you

But now that I’ve found you,

I’m afraid you’re too far away

But you,

You understand me but hardly know me

You speak my language of eyes,

My language of smiles,

And you listen,

You listen like you’re mute-

And when you’re eyes are locked with mine

It’s like no one else exists,

It’s like you’re trying to read me

An open book, with words written just for you

You

And in the greatest pleasure of knowing you

I wish I didn’t

Because you are distant

But I feel so close 

Wait

When you try to create yourself,
You lose yourself
What you're meant to be will surface eventually
Just let it happen
Just as you cannot reverse the light of sun
You cannot change what is begun
Let yourself be itself,
Do not create a false identity
For when you search for your identity,
It is already gone
Just wait for it like the dawn
It will make itself known,
Just like the shadows that dance on your cold blue walls

A Swallow of Pride

I'm sorry I never shown a light to your wandering feet,
I'm sorry I never told you what you meant to me
I guess it's hard to guide when you yourself are blind
As much as I open my mind,
It all stops quickly,
A sense of myself I fail to find
I can't help but wonder where I went wrong
I'm gonna miss you when you're gone,
And I know we don't have long

It's hard to know others when you don't even know yourself
I sense of regret is what I felt,
I just need clarity to my scattered mind
I'd say I know you don't mind,
But I know you do

Forgive me
I'm sorry I never told you what you meant to me
I hope one day we can get past the present
I hope one day you can really see me
Not my dancing shadows
Not my empty promises

A Remembrance Poem

It's something about this old t-shirt
When I wear it, I can feel you
I can feel your warmth,
I can feel your sweet words of wisdom
Though you never thought yourself very smart,
You were a refined intelligence,
One that no book could fabricate,
One that can only be found through passion

It's something about this house
When i'm in it, I can see you
I can see the peanut butter you left on the counter,
I can smell the aftershave lingering in the bathroom,
I can see your laughter dancing on the walls
You  never had much to laugh about,
But you did anyway

It's something about that room
When I'm near it, I can mourn you
I can feel the disappointment seeping down the walls
And when I walk through the door,
It unlocks a wave of emotion, pounding my head vigorously
That very room robbed me of my childhood
Stripped me of my security

Until I can find the will to relive the memories I store,
I will keep wearing this old t-shirt
Hoping someday, it will get easier
Hoping someday, it will all just disappear

Stutters and Cool Weather

And the issue is I don't know how to deal
I don't know how to steal those lies right out of your beautiful mouth
And the issue is I just want to feel
But I don't know to approach it without the situation turning south
Though you couldn't comprehend,
You couldn't even begin to understand this pain so real

To look in the mirror and see a stranger
To look in the mirror and see disappointment
To look in the mirror and not see yourself
 
I try every remedy to eloquently dismiss it
I try every remedy to violently rid it
But it remains,
Just like you-
Just like I-
Just like this large perplexity called 'life'

I could frown but that would restrict a smile
And I haven't done that in a while
So if you'd pleasure me in this excursion
I think I could learn how to deal,
I think I'd know how to steal those lies right out of your beautiful mouth.

Fickle Emotions

Please let me help you,
Come here
Just sit down for a minute
I know what you're thinking,
I wont understand;
But I do, and I want to
You're drowning,
Just like a helpless soul
Like a rock thrown in water
Sinking; sunken
You have to know,
I don't want to see you like this
But I have to,
Someone has to

Come here
Just sit down for a minute,
Won't you?
It's going to be alright
And if it gets worse,
You need to feel the goodness right now brings
Just sit here for a minute,
It's going to be alright.

They Call Me Nobody

They call me Nobody
Middle name: Nothing
Last name: No how

They call me Nobody
But I like it that way
Because if I were somebody;
I would no longer be a puzzle
I would be a mere being,
I would be just another somebody
Trying to be anybody
A nobody among Know-it-all's
(But what they know is very small)

They call me Nobody
But I like it that way,
Because if were somebody,
I'd have nothing to aspire for
And I want something to reach for
We all should reach for something,
Sometimes we have long arms,
But our legs are too short
Maybe next year,
Keep eating your Wheaties, kid

They call me Nobody,
But I like it that way
Because if I were somebody,
I would know who I am,
And I don't know who I am
Or what I believe,
Or what I believe I know
I am an inflated balloon,
Wondering through the atmosphere
Getting closer to the ground each hour
Slowly deflating,
Slowly coming down to earth
But I'm not there yet

They call me Nobody,
Because if I were somebody,
It means they've won
I will never be somebody,
And I would like to remain that way
Because each day I am different,
Each day I am new
And each day I learn
That each day I am different
Than the day before
I am nobody.

The Game

It’s all just a game, you know

Every move, every point

A strategic battle with one master

A dictatorship

And you are all suppressed

Gripping tightly to every word that drips off her venomous tongue

She knows

She knows you’re falling for it, just like the others

She delights in your folly,

You’re helpless, feckless folly

Making you think you’re important,

Making you think you’ve changed the game

No one will ever change the game,

Until they decide not to play

She deals you like a deck of cards

Tricking you with those shallow lies

You want her to be the queen, but she’s just a joker

Always a joker

She tugs you along on her ship of pity

Hoping that you’ll be the remedy to her insecure game

But you’ll never see it,

You’ll never know you’re playing the game

But one day you’ll understand,

When your beard grows in and your mind gets wiser

That all along you didn’t play the game,

But she played you.

Mask

You're scratching me
Your sand paper words rub against my fair, blushing skin
I'd appreciate you to stop,
Or apologize
Your sticky mouth blurts out promises you can't keep
So sure in your motives,
So dominant in your actions
You freeze, time stops-
It's just us now
Lies sap out of your ears
You branch out your cries,
One by one they fall
Floating down like new fall leaves
Crunching beneath my feet
And when the fog settles
I see who you are
Better yet,
I see what you're not

Hopscotch

I don't need you
Stay away from me
You hurt me
I don't like you
I hate you
I love you
I forgive you
Please come back
I need you
I miss you

Chains

It's an interesting feeling, being alone.
It's a hard concept to swallow, not knowing yourself.
It's a hard dream to catch, wanting to leave.
It's a hard thing to have, hope.
It's a rough road to travel, lonesome.
It's a hard light to see, blind.
It's a painful acceptance, restriction.
It's hard to find, patience.